remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
