Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
