you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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