So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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