So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize