Will you blow on my dice?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
