yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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