drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
