8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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