sarcasm needs its own font
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
