he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
