Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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