Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Damn victory sex feels great
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
