i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
