It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
