there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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