PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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