well he's currently spooning the coffee table
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
