just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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