it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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