It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
