So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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