the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
