im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
operation harelip BJ is a go
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My dick has a subreddit
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
