it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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