Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize