You really coming over, don't trick.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't think brook has ever known best
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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