Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
