do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
