Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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