he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
