the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
