we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
