He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
