butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I understand Curling. That high.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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