Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
