I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
