Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
