Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can't turn off my feet"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
