I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
