Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
