i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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