Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
