his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
