So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
