Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize