We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
