I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize