Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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