i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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