Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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