absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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