so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
