i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize