i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
