I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
