Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
