Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My hand turned me down
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
